I practice a form of Couple Therapy called PACT—Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, developed by Dr. Stan Tatkin. For many years, I did not practice Couple Therapy because I had not yet found an approach to Couple Therapy that I found compelling and effective; PACT changed all that for me. It is a stunningly effective approach to Couple Therapy, in my opinion.
PACT combines the cutting-edge research from three areas: developmental neuroscience, attachment theory and the biology of human arousal. (In this case, “arousal” does not refer to sexual arousal, but rather one’s level of activation, energy, stress, altertness and readiness to change.)
Neuroscience
Neuroscience is the study of the brain. If we know how the brain works, we then have a physiological basis for understanding how people act and react within relationships. Basically, some areas of the brain are wired to reduce threat or danger and seek security, while other areas of the brain are focused on establishing mutuality and loving connection.
Attachment Theory
Attachment theory focuses on the biological human need to bond with others. Our experiences in early childhood relationships create a blueprint that informs the sense of safety and security we bring to adult relationships. Our insecurities that have been carried through life can wreak havoc for a couple if these issues are not resolved. If you are familiar with attachment theory, you may have read that certain attachment types do not mix well together—I find this type of pathological approach to be less helpful for couples. Instead in PACT, there is a much more nuanced understanding of attachment styles that I find far more empowering. If you understand your own attachment style and your partner’s, you will have many flexible tools to handle conflict and wonderful ways to deepen your connection, fun, and intimacy.
Biology of Human Arousal
Biology of human arousal is the moment-to-moment ability to manage one’s energy, alertness, and readiness to engage. In PACT, “arousal” does not refer to sexual arousal, but rather one’s level of activation, energy, stress, alertness and readiness to change. When you learn to read and manage your own arousal and your partner’s, you are then able to choose consciously how to respond to each other rather than reacting impulsively without thought.
Whether you are in crisis in your relationship or looking to improve and deepen an already wonderful connection, I can help.